Inflamed and Untamed

Sometimes all it takes is just getting out of the house. 

As you know I reported to you guys that I wasn’t feeling well both physically or mentally. The physical part I can handle a lot better. I am used to pain and suffering and have accepted that at times that will just be a part of my life. But one thing that I can’t handle so well are the psychological areas - I was so so lonely sitting in my house day after day in my pajamas, not washing my hair, and not really doing anything. The only time I got ready was when I made a video blog because for one, I haven’t been feeling well, and two, I had no other reason to get ready so why should I?  I knew that the sun was shining outside and I wanted so badly to be outdoors, I wanted to be working at my job, or spending time with friends.  I just wanted to do SOMETHING but my health and lack of money were preventing that from happening.  It’s hard to watch the people in your life out there living their lives and being “normal people” when you are stuck inside and you can’t even remember what day it is anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I love you beautiful bad gut people so so much I just want to squeeze all of your cheeks (on your face), but sometimes I need to get out into the real world to remind myself that I am more than just the Sara who has Crohn’s disease.  All it took was simply seeing some friends yesterday. I woke up feeling pretty decent (yay!) and decided I would meet 2 of my best friends for breakfast. You would think that that would inspire me to do my hair and make-up but…nope. My pal Nadia (I call her “nads” and you can too!) pulled into my driveway and I walked out of my house with my hair all over the place, no make-up, and best of all I had jean shorts on and a sports bra. I was rushing so I put my shirt on in her car. 

Later on however was another one of our friends Birthday parties which got me super excited to dress up and go out. Woo-hoo I get to see people! We only stayed a short time but during the time we were there I got to enjoy my favorite drink (a glass of pinot noir) and socialize. I looked pretty good too if I do say so myself. My shoes were FIERCE.

And see? I’m in such a better mood now. Back to no pants blogging today with messy hair and no make-up but I am in a much better mood. Also, every time I drink wine I savor the hell out of it because if I start doing my methotrexate injections again I have to kiss it goodbye.