1. Feel sorry for them, not for you.

    You’re going to ask me why I am telling you this. 

    Today I was at work (2nd day back in a long time - long story - blah blah not the point) and I was working back and forth between the desk and doing pedicures, basically filling in where needed because we were having a huge weekend sale. A woman comes in clearly upset and I was her first point of contact so of course I was who she directed her “feelings” towards.  She was (carefully choosing the nicest words possible here) let’s just say, she was mad. She was upset. And she was making me very aware of that. Because I used to be the evening lead salon coordinator I still had my past manager duties in the computer which enabled me to fix her problem.  It was a simple mistake someone else made the day before because the weekend has been busy and we are running all sorts of specials, and sometimes things get messed up.  Long story short she wasn’t given the discounts she was supposed to get, I fixed it, and sent her on her way.  But throughout all this her attitude was terribly unpleasant from her facial expressions to the way she talked to me. I however maintained my pleasant personality, fixed her problem, and that was that.  

    My friend looked at me and said “I’m glad you were the one handling that because I would have gotten just as upset.” The reason things like that don’t bother me is because I know she’s not mad at ME. I’m just on the receiving end of her anger. She may just be an unpleasant person, or maybe she has other things in her life and she’s taking her angst out on me instead, or who knows? Her negativity did not affect my day and I went on to do a pedicure for such a special young lady who had me cracking up.  I chose to focus on that and come home in a good mood for hopefully making her day just as great as she made mine.  

    Why am I telling you this? 

    It’s the same way I handle people when it comes to my disease or just life in general. If someone doesn’t accept you because you have an ostomy shame on them. Don’t let it be your problem.  You know who you are, you know you’re okay, you know you deserve more. If someone says something negative about how you look or because of anything having to do with your disease or the symptoms it causes then who the hell are they? Certainly not an understanding or compassionate person. Feel sorry for them, not for you.  ”It’s them, not you”, that’s how I like to look at it.  Stand tall and confidently in who you are.  If someone is giving you negativity and you don’t deserve it then let it roll off your shoulders.  

    That’s how I live my life when it comes to negative people, not all the time of course. People say things that affect me and I still have circumstances that hurt me. It’s only human after all. There are times I will get a mean comment on my blog or video that really hurts my feelings and then I realize that those people are the people with the problem, not me.  I do my best to put myself out there and I work so hard on this blog to help you, because I really do care.  It takes a lot to put yourself out there like this and when people say mean things I just wonder why do you bother? If you don’t have something nice to say then just keep it to yourself.  What kind of person are you? Would you say this to me if we were face to face and you were not hiding behind your computer and the ability to leave anonymous comments? And that’s when I realize that I shouldn’t let them ruin my day.  

    I don’t know what the woman at work got out of yelling at me? Her problem would have been fixed whether she was nice to me or if she was mean.  She was yelling at the wrong person anyway because I wasn’t the person who charged her in the first place, and really she accomplished nothing. 

    So that’s my thoughts for the day. Just another reminder to remember that your disease doesn’t lessen your value. It doesn’t make you less worthy of respect than your neighbor. Don’t stand for it. 

    I also wore red lipstick today without looking like a clown. Success! I’ve never pulled off red lipstick until today. And look how long my hair has become! Still not good at the smiling thing. 

    -Sara

    p.s. Happy World Ostomy Day! I haven’t gotten around to writing my ostomy post because of being busy so…it might be late…it might never come. We don’t know.